adieu to the king of pop

He was best remembered as Wacko Jacko. 

The Gloved One. 

Famously known for the countless alteration on his face making him looked so freakishly Frankenstein. 

He was the man who never wanted to grow up. 

He was modern day Peter Pan.

We will always remember him as the cute little boy who had livened up our lives during our growing up years.

Farewell Michael Jackson. 

And thank you for the memories.

direct translation

Kak Ngah: Ibu, kita boring sungguh hari ni. Citer kat tv pun tak best la. Boleh tak kita tengok dvd?

Ibu: Ok, citer apa Kak Ngah nak tengok?

Kak Ngah terus membelek kotak toyogo yg dipenuhi dvd itu. Ada yang original dan ada juga yang cetak rompak. Tapi banyak yang cetak rompak dari yang original. Hehehe.

Kak Ngah: Haa, kita nak tengok cerita TOLAK

Ibu: Hah?

Seingat-ingat aku yang pelupa ini, memang tak ada beli cerita tajuk TOLAK terutama cerita melayu yang aku rasa tersangatlah rugi beli dvd (ori ke cetak rompak) sebab Hari Raya nanti gerenti masuk tv.

Ibu: Citer apa tu?

Kak Ngah: Citer omputeh. Ala cepat la pasang buuuu...

Ibu: Ok ok laa...bak la sini dvd tu (sambil Kak Ngah menghulurkan dvd ke ibu yang blur-blur sotong tu).

Laa, citer ni ke? Ish ish...

ben 10 poser

ready for action...

Ben 10 t-shirt and bermuda short bought at pasar malam  - RM11.00.

Ben 10 Omnitrix (watch-like device that transforms him into various alien forms) bought at convenience store  - RM14.90. 

Total price -RM25.90. 

The look on his face (after donning Ben 10 attire) - PRICELESS!  

A disgruntled employee

Because of the recent economic downturn, Mr P. Nis writes in a letter for a higher raise of salary. Here is what he had to say:

Dear Sir,

I the P*nis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons;

1. I do physical labor.
2. I work at great depths.
3. I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
4. I do not get weekends or public holidays off.
5. I work in a damp environment.
6. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation.
7. I work in high temperatures.
8. My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,
P. Nis

The Response:-

Dear Mr. P. Nis

After assessing your request and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the obvious following reasons;

1. You do not work 8 hours straight.
2. You fall asleep after brief work periods.
3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
4. You do not stay in your designated area and are often seen visiting other locations.
5. You do not take initiative; you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working.
6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift.
7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations; such as wearing the correct protective clothing.
8. You are unable to work double shifts. You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed the assigned task. And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious-looking bags.
9. You will retire well before you are 65.

Sincerely,

V. Gina

battle of the bulge

as always, image snagged from here

The good husband had made a pledge recently that he is going to lose that excess flab no matter what. Hurmm, seems like a tall order considering that he is what you call it, a lazy bum (in the health department).

All because of a back pain that has been rendering him lembikless every time he reaches home from work everyday. He had to be massaged with ointment on the back frequently otherwise he would not be able to sleep well at night. The orthopaedic surgeon who had examined him earlier told him to lose some weight and if that doesn't work out nicely then another extreme measure to remedy his back problem (as a last resort) would be surgery.

According to his doctor he has to lose at least 10 kgs as the extra weight could be one of the cause for him to suffer back pain. His legs could not withstand the extra weight therefore causing him to experience on-off back pain especially if he sits or lie down too long in the same position.

Each time the pain gets so unbearable, he would see chiropractor immediately but its only a quick fix coz the pain would recur if he doesn't observe the pantang-larang given. Now that he has been given the ultimatum, he has taken the advice by cutting down portions of his meals, taking the LRT to and from work for the past couple of weeks (let see how long he can do this knowing how crazy LRT schedules can be), doing push-ups and some physiotherapy exercise in his spare time. He's even contemplating to engage a personal trainer at the gym nearby his workplace. Wow, I have to take a bow to that man for his tenacity to lose weight.

Yeah, it takes only one word to make my macho man scaredy-cat. Surgery with a capital S.

dipenjara tanpa rela

Tak tahu macam mana nak cakap bila terbaca tajuk utama Harian Metro hari ini. Sedih pun ada. Nak salahkan dorang kerana berhutang dengan Along rasa tak wajar. Siapa lah yang tahu apa masalah dorang. 

Apa yang saya tahu, kegiatan Along dan juga Mat Rempit wajar dihapuskan secara total. They are menace to society. Cerita lebih lanjut di sini.

made for each other

Happily married couples are known to sleep in the same bed, drink from the same glass, eat from the same plate but guess what? Now they can also do that plop thing together-gether in that little cubicle. *LOL*

Now you can smell each other even better.

bask in the ambience *LOL*

*I've been working my ass out for a whole friggin' day just to change my blog layout only to come up with this recycled toilet write-up. Great!*

casual friday

Thank goodness it's friday today. The last working day of the week. I always look forward to this day because I know I can have a little precious rest (I try...) for the next two days before manic monday approaches again.


Enjoy it while it last. See ya.

I wonder if TGI's Friday still exist in Kay El today coz I haven't been there since like 1992. Gosh, where have I been living all this while? Oh yeah, some place idyllic near Sg Buloh. About two district away from Batu Caves. That explains it. Like a lot.

new American Idol crowned

Kris's wholesome boy next door image is a stark contrast to Adam's stylish, charismatic presence

Expect the unexpected.

Last night, the new American Idol was Kris-tened in front of millions of viewers worldwide and it wasn't Adam Lambert. Shocked? Totally. Even Kris Allen couldn't believe his ears and went like, "Adam deserves this". Kris's wholesome demeanour probably made him win in the finale. Let's not go into the conspiracy theory we heard about Danny's vote went to Kris after his surprise elimination from the final 3 last week.

As for Adam Lambert's career post-AI, the surviving members of the rock band Queen has finally found their rightfully heir after Freddie Mercury's demise. Adam's rendition of We Are The Champions together with the group proved just that. Awesome performance.

In a tradition of American Idol, fillers were added to delay results until the final minutes. This is the part I look forward the most where they were group numbers usually a pairing of one or more Idol contestant with famous celebrities. Another biggest favorite would be the mock MTV-like award presentation; The Golden Idol awards.

I sort of knew it was Nick Mitchell and his alter ego Norman Gentle, the lunatic comedian who bagged the award for Outstanding Male. I loved him for doing a spoof in his Oscar-style speeches and tore off his clothes halfway and began his cabaret-style singing and stole the show effortlessly. Totally hilarious dude!

Not forgetting, the super-whiney drama queen, Tatiana Del Toro who won the Outstanding Female category. Remember her? Yes, she was the one who didn't get the judges' vote to be in the final 13. Simon has called her the most annoying Idol contestant ever.

And the icing on the cake of course went to that slutty (oops!) beach girl, Katrina Darrell aka The Bikini Girl for daringly went on stage in her two-piece bikini to receive the award for Best Attitude. Spot on. Yeah, Katrina's super tan hot bod while parading her gedikness was every male's fantasy and deserves a standing ovation from Simon and Randy and all the male population across the universe. Indeed. Oh, did I forget to mention about Kara DioGuardi's subtle attempt at stealing the mike and limelight from Katrina? Yeah, that Bikini girl kinda look pissed. We could have witness the world's most choreographed catfight. Nah, in your dreams, guys! *LOL*

All in all, it was a good finale show if not great. The result may come as a surprise but it was well compensated by performances of great entertainers and I have to say that the Golden Idol awards segment was the best and the recipients were such good sports.

the name game

1. YOUR REAL NAME

H*** M******* (sorry, can't reveal full identity here...I'm protected under witness protection programme...ahaks!)

2. WITNESS PROTECTION NAME (mother and father's last names)

Lamzah Ottok (org melayu dolu2 nama memang pelik sket...)

3. FORMULA 1 NAME (first name of your mother's dad, father's dad)

Lamzah Ottok

4. STAR WARS NAME (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name)

MARHA (cam siot jer nama nih...)

5. DETECTIVE NAME (favorite color, favorite animal)

Black Cat (I don't really like cats but I like to watch their antics...)

6. SOAP OPERA NAME (middle name, town where you were born)

M******* Ipoh

7. SUPERHERO NAME (2nd favorite color, favorite drink, add "THE" to the beginning)

The Green Ice Lemon Tea (would people really believe that I sport such lame name for a superhero? not to be associated with The Green Goblin of Spiderman OK...*LOL*)

8. FLY NAME (first 2 letters of first name, last 2 letters of your last name)

HAAH (exactly...!)

9. ROCK STAR NAME (current pet's name, current street name)

Temoh Seripagi (wakakakaka....) - Temoh is my MIL's cat's name since we don't own pets...

10. PORN NAME (1st pet, street you grew up on)

Putih Bakawali (cam siot jer nama nih...) - Putih is the name we gave to a street cat yg selalu datang makan kat belakang rumah masa kecik2 dulu and bulunya pun memang putih...

11. YOUR GANGSTA NAME (first 3 letters of real name plus izzle)

Hanizzle (macam nama soft drinks jer...)

12. STRIPPER NAME (name of your favorite perfume, favorite candy)

Tommygirl Mentos (wakakakaka.....)

14. WIZARD'S NAME (last 3 letters of mother's name, first 3 letters of current job, first 3 letters of your zodiac sign and last 3 letters of home street's name)

Iahhomviragi (yeah, the character's name they'd give me if I should win the audition for the Lord of The Ring's prequel; The Lord of the Brag...)

15. PIRATE'S NAME (favorite action hero's last name, your 'pet' name, favorite comedian's last name and add "Captain" to the beginning

Captain Alice (of Resident Evil) Hun Fey (fulamak...!)

Well, that was fun. OK, back to work...sigh!

signed, sealed and delivered...

....safely to my doorstep at approximately 2.14pm yesterday. PosLaju is getting very efficient these days eh? No?

It all started here and became a contest of sort and I actually won (cam tak cayer jer akak....*LOL*).

Goodies are courtesy from Cik Puan NJ aka Goboklama who was so adamant that I should get the stuffs as promised by repeatedly sending me emails asking for my address and I thought she was just pulling my legs. Obviously she wasn't.

an energy-saving bulb...

Jaya Jusco reusable shopping bag but Kak Ngah dah cop dulu bag tu buat beg mengaji dia...isk isk

and last but not least....an interesting looking sculpture that looks like a rounded ball with colorful mosaics on top. is it a paper weight, NJ? definitely a conversational piece on my coffee table (if I do have one...)

Thank you so much, ma'am NJ! *big grin*

Flame Up

Have you ever got that cringe feeling when someone gave you a smack-in-the-face remark?

Case in point.

You are frying a bowl of ikan keli (those who fried ikan keli should know the hot oil spatter on you like mini fire-crackers) and you went like ouch! and that's when someone sibuk meyampuk something like this, "itu baru terpercik minyak panas kalau terpercik api neraka lagi sakit...".

Duh! *grrrr*

Hot n Cold (reaction)

Never before have I been so disturbed than watching Katy Perry's performance on AI last night. Didn't she look ridiculous in that Elvis-Presley inspired outfit? Yikes.

Loud and Clear

I hate pap-smears. Not only are they giving me huge discomfort (I still feel sore from last check-up about 5 days ago), they are also invasive at the same time. Your gynae will ask you to spread your legs wide open and then start to insert your va-jay-jay with that scary looking shark-teeth piece of plastic while telling you to relax a bit and shove it further down until they found the right position to swab something out and it took like less than a minute to do that. I felt violated. Worse still, they bill you for that and they don't come cheap as well.

All this while, I've had my pap-smear done without the kids tagging along. I never like the idea of having my kids around when I go for this kind of check-up because I know they will ask lots of question and I don't feel like answering them. Its just too complicated.

But last Saturday, I had no choice but to bring them along together with the husband as he had to do some errands on the same day.

So while waiting for my turn, I took out a magazine and started to read to kill time when Kak Ngah decided to get chatty.

Kak Ngah: Ibu nak check apa ni?

Ibu: Ibu nak buat pap-smear.

Kak Ngah: Pap-smear? Apa tu? Lama ke nak buat?

Ibu: Err pap smear tu check perut jer. Kejap je check perut ni...tak sampai 5 minit siap la...

Kak Ngah: Ok la...kita nak keluar main kejap

And then she ran outside the room and joined her sister. I was relieved that Kak Ngah didn't ask so many questions and finally left me alone. As I sat there waiting, I realized there were 5 to 6 couples already wating for their appointments and looking at their wives' bellies, I presume they were all there for ante-natal check-ups.

After like an eternity or so of waiting, it was my turn to go in. After the procedure was done, I was ready to collect the bill when Kak Ngah ran towards me and hollered in a voice loud enough for everyone else to hear and said, "Ibu, dah siap ke pap smear ibu?!". The answer was a barely audible yes.

I swear I heard someone giggled on our way out of the room. Sheesh.

Salah Siapa

pokok bunga oh pokok bunga

kenapa engkau rentung

macam mana kami tak rentung

kami tak disiram air

air oh air

kenapa kau tak siram pokok

macam mana aku tak siram

tak ada orang bukak paip

paip oh paip

kenapa kau tak nak bukak

macam mana aku tak bukak

itu kena tanya tuan rumah

tuan rumah oh tuan rumah

kenapa engkau tak siram pokok

macam mana aku tak siram

dah dasar aku pemalas...kah kah kah!

Kesian kat pokok bunga aku. Bila lah agaknya hujan nak turun ye....sigh! *sambil nyanyi lagu sudirman; hujan yang turun bagaikan mutiara...*

Welcome to Loserville

Just when I thought I had seen enough banal reality tv shows (eg Beauty and the Geek, America's Next Top Model just to name a few) except for American Idol mushrooming on our tv palate, along comes The Biggest Loser. First aired on US tv in 2004, it has reached our shore sometime this year if I'm not mistaken. The episodes we're currently watching on tv (Hallmark Channel) were back to back episodes of previous seasons.

TBL centers around a bunch of overweight people (some were on the brink of severe obesity) attempting to lose desired weight to vie for a cash prize of USD250,000. There are initially two groups - Red and Blue team and more recently in the current episode, the Black team also known as The Rejects was introduced. Each three teams are headed by their own personal trainers namely Bob Harper, Kim Lyons and Jillian Michaels.

Every week they have to follow strict and sometimes rigid exercise routines (note Jillian's military exercise regime) and dieting in order to shed those extra pounds. It is kind of amusing to see how the contestants were tested with temptations, distractions and challenges day after day and by the end of the week, comes the weigh-in session that every contestants dread the most. Team that is losing (meaning not enough pounds shed combined) will have to vote one member off their team. Contestant (from the losing team) who has the highest score of weight loss will not be eliminated. I have to say that I was sorry to see Jerry, the oldest contestant (he's 62 year old) and also leader of the Blue team go because he was the more focused and driven among the others. Come one, that dude lost like 31 pounds in first week? Shut up!

All in all, this show is highly recommended for all weigh-watchers and also for those who needs inspiration to lose weight. If Malaysia has its own version of such programme, I'd sign up straight away if only Bob Harper agrees to become the trainer. *eyes blinking rapidly*. Fat chance!

Here's some of the before and after pictures of previous contestants.

Amazing transformation!

Envy

OK, I am currently infected with the virus Hasadus Dengkipus. To which level, I don't know, maybe dah tahap gaban kot. Aren't the Malays famously known for this genetic anomaly? *LOL*

Well the story is, a neighbour of mine has changed his car (in this current economic slowdown?). He changes his car like a woman changes her clothes (macam pernah ku dengar wordings ni somewhere...). Maka aku dengan tersangat jelesnya tak nak la kalah. So aku pun bercadang nak tukar kereta la macam ni boleh?

my dream car...amacam? orait tak? Fulamak, besar giler beb! boleh ubahsuai letak katil queen saiz kat dalam complete with kitchen (senang nak masak la gini). kalau balik kampung jumpa sedara mara tak yah lah susah-susah nak camping rumah orang kan kan kan. kalau coti-coti mehsia pun tak yah lah buang duit sewa bilik hotel bagai hanya bayar duit parking jer....mesti jeles jiran-jiran tetangga ku nanti...wakakaka!

Hmm, kat mana lah nanti nak ku parking bas besor panjang ni weh...

Vamping on Twilight

How would you feel if your teenage daughter tells you that she has serious crush with a boy at school? Seems pretty normal for teenagers to have puppy love moments during adolescence years. But wait, there's more to it. Your daughter seems to hold information about the boy she had crush on. He's not exactly human. To be precise, he's a blood-sucking vampire!

Such is the premise of Twilight, a typical boy meets girl love story. Bella Swan isn't just any regular teen. She's attractive, intense, and articulate. Her seemingly reserved exterior only serve to camouflage her inner desperation of wanting to be swept off her feet by love. Its understandable why she is so drawn to Edward Cullen's mysteriousness charm (note his immaculately sculpted eyebrows and bouffant hair). She becomes increasingly curious of Edward after he saved her from being crushed by a van at their school parking lot.

What's another way of winning a girl's heart besides being dashingly handsome? Give her a piggyback ride at breakneck speed (I wish I could do that for my son...sigh!), introduce her to his vampire clan family ala Meet The Parents, play baseball during thunderstorm and appears out of nowhere just in time to rescue her from bad people. Wow!

OK, in real life, if my daughter ever comes back from school one day and tells me that she's in love with a vampire, I'd definitely say, "Walk over my dead body first!".

Some memorable corny lines from the movie;

#1

Edward: So the lion fell in love with the lamb...

Bella: What a stupid lamb...

Edward: What a sick masochistic lion...

#2

Bella: How old are you?

Edward: Seventeen

Bella: How long have you been seventeen?

Edward: A while...

#3

Bella: Graduation caps?

Edward: Its a private joke. We matriculate a lot..

#4

Edward: I can read every mind in this room apart from yours .There's money. sex. money. cat. and then you nothing. its very frustrating..

Bella: Is there something wrong with me?

Edward: See, I tell you I can read minds and you tell me there's something wrong with you...

Someone please knock some senses into Bella's head. By the way, I can't wait for the second sequel of Twilight Saga: New Moon coming this November.

Watch this space.

Maid from Hell

This video was too painful to watch. I hugged my son who was sitting next to me so tightly. He couldn't understand the sudden gesture I made but he sensed that I was upset about something and immediately put a smile to his angelic face. It melt my heart to see him so happy.

Everytime I watch video of something like this, I am reminded again and again how lucky I am to be a SAHM (stay-at-home-mom).

WatchTheFullVideoHere

*with thanks to sudotnet for posting this*

Small steps

Adik B has been attending speech and occupational therapy weekly for the past 2 months. He had been diagnosed as having ADD, a syndrome that characterized short attention span and hyperactivity which is so apparent in Adik B's behaviour. However it is too early to tell if he has ADHD as well since he doesn't exhibit extreme symptoms associated with ADHD.

Alhamdulillah for this diagnosis. Now that we know it for sure, we just need to do the therapies recommended to ensure that he will be able to talk normally like any other kids his age do. That was our primary concern. In my humble opinion, healthy kids are supposed to be active mentally and physically. Its just that Adik B has extra dosage of activeness in his body and extra fitness is all I need to keep up with him. I don't need to go to a gym to have work-outs. He is the work-out! *LOL*

Adik B has very little eye-contact which is why he has developed a delay in speech. According to his speech therapist, babies and toddlers learn to speak through imitating the movements of our lips when we communicate with them. Since attending the therapies, we discovered that Adik B uses both hands to do simple tasks like drawing or stacking objects whereby at his age, he should have one hand dominant either right or left. He is able to understand and follow instructions though need to be told repeatedly with a stern voice.

We have limit the toys at home to just two or three sets as too many toys can distract him from focusing. Even his favorite cartoons like Tom & Jerry had to be restricted as we found out that non-responsive cartoons (cartoons with very little or no dialogue at all) attracts Adik B like a bee to a honey. No wonder he was so engrossed when watching cartoons like Tom & Jerry, Mr Bean, Pink Panther, Shaun the Sheep and the likes. I have been guilty of feeding him too much of them. Its the only way to distract him when I need a breather. My bad.

Since undergoing therapies, there is some improvement in the way Little B behaves or responds. He has taken in with drawing spiral O's and straight lines experimenting with different hues of colors and he did it with finesse. He really enjoyed it very much. But 10 minutes is all he can take it and after that he's back to his usual bag of antics and trashing the house. *LOL*

We are planning to enrol him in a kindy next year. It doesn't matter so much if he couldn't grasp ABC or count 123 perfectly. We'll just take one step at a time. Right now, what matters most is for him to learn to socialize with kids his age and have fun. His toilet-training is excellent which is another factor we think he's ready for kindy. The only thing is, will there be any kind teacher out there who's brave enough to keep up with him? *LOL*

99 balloons

I was moved to tears while watching an episode of yesterday's repeat of OW (Oprah Winfrey). 

In one of the segment was a moving story of a baby named Eliot. 

His father made this poignant video of Eliot during his 99 days of life with his loving parents hence the title 99 balloons. 

Instead of feeling sad for the undeniable future of their son, they chose to cherish and celebrate every single day of his life. 

Truly an inspiring story for us all.

You just have to watch the video to understand why. 

YouCanWatchTheVideoHere. 

Just get ready with a box of tissue nearby.

I thot I thaw a puttytatt...

picture not related to this entry...

I thought of writing something today but my hand aches so bad. 

All because I went bowling (and bawled at the same time) yesterday. Just so you know, I scored 2 strikes. 

Not bad for someone who doesn't play that ball game for the last 13 years. Woo hoo.

So, excuse me again for not updating this blog like I should. 

Thank you for understanding. 

A star is born

Did anyone watch the American Idol last night?

Was Adam Lambert hot or what.

Dude, that man is not only talented, he is Da Bomb! 

What I like about Adam is that he seems to have no airs and very much down to earth kinda guy. 

He doesn't act proud when the judges gave him the thumbs up. 

He just act cool. 

When he's being criticized, he just act cool again and nodded with smile.

He looked totally different last night. 

I thought he looked familiar. 

He is a dead ringer of young KurtRussell! 

Those who were born in the 80's and 90's probably wouldn't have a clue who Kurt Russell is. 

Go google.

Death becomes her

That's it! Lipo is out of the question for me. No sirree. This story (above) should make every women out there think twice, heck, 100 times before deciding to go under the knife.

Go the old-fashioned way. Exercise.

Songs in my head

Even as a child, I had always loved singing. Though none of my parents are musically-inclined, I do have an uncle from my father's side who plays musical instruments very well noticeably the saxophone and flute. His daughter is also into music and she plays the violin very well. To me, she is Malaysia's very own Vanessa Mae, the world renowned contemporary violinist. She has taken part in various competitions and concerts in her school days and today she is a music lecturer at a local college.

Apart from them, no one else in the family was into music and singing.

Singing was my passion. I was in the school choir (primary and lower secondary) and always participate in the school concerts. Be it singing or acting. Yes, I've acted quite a bit in school plays. It didn't matter if it was a small role as long as I get to be on stage performing. I started a role as Pak Pacak and gradually moved on to become the leading (wo)man. During my fourth form, I was the lead actress to play the role of Uda in Uda Dan Dara. It was the best moment of my school life cause I secured a major role and I was new to that school. Sweet.

Nevertheless, I still love singing and in my final year at school, I participated again in the school concert and if memory serves me right, I sang Gaya Zakri's song. I can't quite remember the title but the first phrase of the song lyrics starts with....Embun dihujungnya daun...menitis lalu berderai...jatuh ke bumi hilang....hanya tinggallah kenangan. Something like that.

Later in working life, I still sing and this time, I belted out to my heart's content in karaoke joints. I had the Japaneses to thank to for inventing this wondrous technology. The karaoke joint was a favorite haunt for me whenever I need to chill out after a hard day (sometimes lousy day) at work or simply hanging out with friends who share the same hobby. Karaoke was so hugely popular back then (in the early 90's), did you know that? Every Tipah, Ah Moi or Meenachi who couldn't sing well can suddenly sing with the aid of karaoke. I don't really have a great soulful voice like Mariah Carey or Taylor Dayne but I can sure sing. Even better than our Made In Akademi Fantasia products. LOL!

My friends coaxed me to try out my luck at TV3's Sinaran Passport Kegemilangan somewhere in 1996. Together with Enon (my old best friend) and some other friends, we went for the audition held at TV3 studio. We registered our names. I was so excited about it but somehow at the last minute I chickened out. Nervousness got to me. Way big. When I saw hordes of people there who were also auditioning and their vocals were far more better than mine, I was so overwhelmed. I knew I wasn't ready for it. My singing interest ended there. Quite abruptly.

To this day, I sometimes had this "what if" moments whenever I looked at old photos and starts to reminisce the good old days. What if I went along with the audition? My fate would've changed indefinitely. Never mind if I didn't make it to the final, still, I'd have become a household name by now. At least. I envision that people would line up to buy my albums. My concerts were a sell-out. A collaboration with an international artiste? I could've had an affair with a rich married Datuk! The possibilities are endless. These were imaginary news headlines in the entertainment section I could think of if I were to become an artiste. *the angan angan si minah jenin mode is activated right now*. LOL!

this mid 90's picture has me singing Anita Sarawak's Akhirnya Kini Pasti. I competed in my previous company's karaoke contest but I didn't win which is fine coz my main intention was just to sing. My first choice of song was Farrah's Bagaikan Puteri but somehow I opted for Anita's song coz it was catchy and I get to show my showmanship skills on stage while singing. LOL. Its a dance song by the way...

Sex education 101

My eldest daughter came back from school yesterday with a slumdog millionaire question. I was in the kitchen preparing dinner. Her question was something like this.

Kak Long; Ibu, tadi kita nampak ada kucing belang hitam naik kat atas belakang kucing Achik W** pastu dia gigit tengkuk kucing tu. Kenapa ye?

Oh boy!

This is the part where I would pass the baton to the husband. Since he wasn't around when this question was posed to me I had to be cautious in explaining it to her. There was no way escaping it this time.

Ibu (straight face); Oh, sebenarnya kucing-kucing tu tengah mengawan. Depa nak buat baby. Tu sebab depa buat macam tu. *binawe punya kucing takde tempat lain ke nak beromen..*

Kak Long: Ohh *long pause*. Tapi kenapa kucing tu gigit tengkuk . Dia tak rasa sakit ke?

Ibu; Err, entah la ibu pun tak tahu dia sakit ke tak? Mungkin dia gigit tengkuk kucing tu supaya kucing tu tak lari jauh kut? *apa punya jawapan daa*

Kak Long; Ohh *another long pause*.... Masa ibu nak dapat baby dulu ibu ada buat macam itu tak?

Ibu; Err, kak long dah mandi ke belum?

Kak Long; Belum.

Ibu; Hah, apa kata Kak Long pegi mandi dah nak dekat maghrib ni nanti ayah balik tengok Kak Long tak mandi lagi mesti dia bising...kejap lagi nak masuk azan dah...blah blah blah....

Kak Long dissappeared from the kitchen almost immediately when I mentioned the magic word Ayah.

Phew! *wipe off sweat on forehead*

Twister

It lasted only a few seconds. The impact it made was totally massive. That's Hurricane Bee for you.

*seb baik anak sendiri kalau anak orang lain dah lama kena debik. :P*

The singing comedian

His real name is Nick Mitchell but for some strange reason he prefers to be called as Norman Gentle. Its probably his stage name I guess. I don't know what to make of him but he surely stood out in last night's performance for Group 2.

Does he have a chance? Judging from the crowd's response, he could make it to the top 12. Or not.

If he didn't make it, there's always Saturday Night Live. Heck, TinaFey got her first break there before rocking the world in 30Rocks.

The so-called married life from a man's perspective

as usual image cilok-ed from google www.wearyourbeer.com

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day, while his wife stayed at home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed.

"Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for one day, Amen!"

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids. Set out their school clothes, Fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school. Came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners. And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, Paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

By then, it was already 1pm. So he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum and dust, sweep and mop the kitchen floor. Run to the school to pick up the kids and get into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies, and get the kids organized to do their homework.

Then, he set up the ironing board and watched the TV while he did the ironing. At 4:30pm he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the chops and snapped fresh beans for supper. After supper, He cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, And put them to bed.

At 9pm, he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed, and said, "Dear Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please oh please, let us trade back. Amen!"

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson well, and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were but you'll just have to wait for 9 months. You went and got yourself pregnant last night".

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MARRIAGE

1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence)




2. Marriage is love. Love is blind. Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.




3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her Masters.


4. Marriage is a three-ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.
5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOUR listens.


6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.


7. There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced.


8. A happy marriage is a matter of giving and taking; the husband gives and the wife takes.


9. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad? Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.


10. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in ancient China, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her. Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!


11. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.


12. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love; after marriage it is self-defense.


13. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.


14. There was this lover who said that he would go through hell for her. They got married, and now he is going through HELL.


15. When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.


16. Eighty percent of married men cheat in America, the rest cheat in Europe.


17. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but they still stay together.


18. Marriage is man and a woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.


19. Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After the marriage the "Y" becomes silent.


20. I married Miss right; I just didn't know her first name was Always.


21. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only seems longer.


22. Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.


23. A man was complaining to a friend: I HAD IT ALL-MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE. WHAT HAPPENED, asked his friend. He says MY WIFE FOUND OUT.


24. WIFE: Let's go out and have some fun tonight. HUSBAND: OK, but if you get home before I do, leave the hallway lights on.


25. At a cocktail party, one woman said to another: AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I, AM. I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.


26. Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.


27. It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.


28. A man inserted an ad in the paper - WIFE WANTED. The next day he received a hundred of letters and they all said the same thing - YOU CAN HAVE MINE.


29. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing - either the car is new or the wife is.

Bread-talk

Toast it. Spread with kaya jam or margerine and sprinkle with sugar on top. Dip in your favorite Milo or Ovaltine drink or just eat it on its own. Totally delicious!

Oh Gardenia,

Enak dimakan begitu saja...

Group 1; performance review

What a huge letdown. Simon Cowell had repeatedly mentioned this all the time. Never choose self-indulgent songs! Did they listen to him? Noooo...

the ultimate drama queen - tatiana del toro. she maybe whiney but she can sing though...

save the best for last. danny gokey's superb rendition of mariah carey's Hero was definitely an act of heroism. he practically saved the night! Go danny Go...

jackie tohn's a bit underrated in this season but she sure hell rocks! powerful vocal though her choice of elvis presley's A Little Less Conversation did not showcase her real talent. pick better song next time, jackie...

alexis grace shines in her element. although I never quite appreciate cabaret-type song but she nailed it with aretha franklin's I Never Love A Man The Way I love You to a hilt. she's kinda naughty in her performance and the judges loved her...

randy called him anoopdog...must be the slumdog aura thing....anoop desai didn't disappoint us with his rendition of monica's angel of mine. one of the judges called him the next brian mcknight...he should be in the top 12. i want him in the top 12....

The rest of the contestants were awful and forgettable. I rest my case.

Letter from a starstruck fan

Dear Tom,

I have been your number one fan for the longest time. You never fail to tickle my funnybones. You sir, truly are a comedian. Having said that, I'm sorry you had to endure painful pranks by that cunning little rodent. I never really like Jerry though. He is such a pest. If I were to be your friend, I'd never do things to hurt you. Friends don't hurt each other.

If you must know, I had secretly made a wish to have you as my friend someday. Boy, I knew my prayers were answered when I spotted you at the corner display tucked snugly between other big hairy creatures. I knew then that we were going to have good times together.

I want to thank ibu and ayah for fulfilling my wish. Now I don't have to bug ibu all the time coz I have you to play with a lifetime.

I adore you so much that I want you to know you're my BFF (best friend forever)...

Lots of Love & Hugs,


Little Bee

P/S: Ibu said keep away from her refrigerator. She doesn't like surprises if you know what I mean...