Working mom VS stay at home mom (SAHM)

...now where can I get that table. I want ONE!

This controversial topic perhaps has been endlessly debated and I can't seem to understand what the buzz is all about. My scenario is probably very similar to many moms out there. The option to work or stay at home to look after the children.

Actually, being a SAHM wasn't my first choice when I had my eldest baby daughter. I DO wanted to work after having her but the daunting task of finding a suitable babysitter (I am that fussy) coupled with stories about how some children in the care of their babysitters got hurt and worst even dead really pulled me back. The husband also wasn't in favour of a stranger caring for our baby and plus the fact that both our mothers were not able-bodied to care for an infant so I decided to resign from my job. It was an easy peasy decision to make maybe because my job then wasn't that satisfactory either. You know - low pay and overworked. Stuff like that.

The initial plan was, I will start work after Kak Long has reached certain age where she no longer requires maximum assistance but then I got pregnant with second child when Kak Long was about 2 years plus. So the plan was put on hold. Still, I couldn't be bothered much about returning to work because I had my hands full with 2 small children at the time. Financial wise, it was better for me to stay home with them since most of my income would go to childcare as I wasn't earning that much. Kerja penat-penat sudahnya duit bagi kat orang.


The thing is, women have many choices nowadays. Women who chose to work out of home surely have their reasons why and so do women  who chose to stay at home or work at home. Whichever choice it is, each has its pros and cons. Everyone's situation is different. So why fight over who has it better?

Sure, there are perks that comes with your decision. For women who work out of home, there is social interaction between colleagues and independence as in you could buy things you like without having to ask from your husband. As for SAHMs, the immense satisfaction you get from nurturing your children and watch them grow. To get the best of both world, some women opt to work at home and at the same time manage to take care of the household.

Of course, in every work that you do, after certain time, you'll get bored because the work has become a routine. Even SAHM is no exception. After spending most of the week with the kids all day and night, I need a break. All mothers do no matter what kind of job they held and I function better as a wife and mom if given some time out on my own. Thankfully, the weekends are reserved for this purpose. These are days when I don't feel like cooking or do any household chores. Sometimes, we'd go outings or finding favorite eateries or sometimes visit the relatives.

I have come to terms long ago that I may not be able to work out of home again (dah malas kut?) but I do have plans. That's the beauty of planning. If it doesn't turn out as expected, there is always Plan B or C. Ha ha!

Even though I like this job very much but I certainly do no want to be stuck at being SAHM for the rest of my life. I envision some small home-based business (whatever that is) or enrol myself in domestic skill courses such as sewing or knitting or even specialised cooking. And I probably could achieve all this when my children have grown up and I have extra time on my side.

Well, that's the plan for now.

grey matters

Uban uban

Go away

Come again in 20 years time! (wishful thinking...)

The proverb, you reap what you sow totally rings true in my case. All those years of dyeing, bleaching, perming, straightening and the latest, rebonding had taken its toll on my crowning glory. Damn, I'm only into my early forties but my hair is so full of them - those shiny, annoying, itchy strands of grey hair what else! 

I've been using all kinds of ingenious ways to cover my grey hair and one of them is dyeing the hair black with henna. I prefer to do it at the salon instead of D-I-Y coz I know its very messy and leceh-able to do besides I don't like to get my hand dirty. I will buy a few packets of black henna at the pasar malam and get the hairstylist to do it for me at a cost of maybe RM20 or something. 

Certain salons (the high end ones) will charge you exorbitant price which is another reason why I like to do it in a not so expensive salon. Lagi cokia salon tu lagi bagus. Cheaper that way. Ha ha!

The downside of using henna is that after the first few washes, your towel could become blackened as the residue from henna sticks to it which is why I set a sole towel  for this purpose. Its also important to cover your pillow with a cloth so as not to stain it when you sleep. This has to be done for several days until the stain no longer appears when you wash your hair. 

Of course, this process needs to be repeated at least once every two months or whichever is necessary coz henna is not permanent as chemical dyeing. 

And right now, I sort of highlight my hair in natural brown color just enough to cover those grey hair but as soon as it grows longer, new grey hair appears at the root. Again. Sheesh!

So much for grey matters.

*Yours truly should just accept the fact that grey hair is part and parcel of ageing and no one will escape it. She envies Rozita Che Wan's beautiful tresses and wonders if she could have one just like that. Fat chance lah!*

cuba teka

Apakah agaknya yang sedang dilakukan oleh kanak-kanak di dalam gambar tersebut? Sila berikan jawapan yg paling tepat. 10 markah akan diberi sekiranya jawapan anda betul.

a) sedang menggaru
b) sedang menggentel
c) kedua-duanya sekali
d) entah...

the spouse tag

Huh, dah lama tak kena tag ni. Yanti tagged me recently and this time it was about how I met my husband. Macam tau-tau aje Valentine Day nak dekat ek. Ok, here goes.

1) First time jumpa with your hubby bila dan kat mana?

Kat my ofis. Masa tu dia client datang nak beli barang kat my ofis dan kebetulan aku ler yg kena attend dia. Masa tu dalam hati dok pikir betapa sombongnya mamat ni (sebab airmuka dia memang serius giler). Yelah, masa tu tak kenal kan? Orang kata tak kenal maka tak cinta. Ahaks!

2)  Love at first sight?

Takde jugak laa. Kena jual mahal beb! He he 

3. Who is he when the first time you meet him?

Engineer


4) How long it takes for him to ask you out on a date?

Maybe 5-6 months after the first meeting. That long! Dia pun sama jual mahal. Ha ha!


5)  First place dating?

Bangsar Shopping Complex! Tu pun sebab nak tengok wayang tapi tak ingat citer apa.


6) How he proposed?

Nothing romantic of that sort cuma dia tanya selamba jer. Bunyinyer lebih kurang camgini - "Eh, you nak kawen dgn I tak?" Ada ke...

7) Special Date with your hubby?

12 April since then. Tapi takde ler sambut bagai nak rak tiap-tiap tahun. Cukup ler dgn sebiji kek dan keluar makan-makan ngan famili gitu.

8. Changes that he asked you to do?

The first thing he asked me to do is to cut my hair short! Masa tu aku tak pakai tudung cam sekarang so masa tu rambut mmg panjang sampai paras bahu, siap ada karat2 lagik. Ada ke dia kata aku nampak tua sebab pesen rambut aku masa tu tak sesuai ngan muka aku??! Cisss! And banyak lagi changes - ask me to change my dressing style supaya nampak sopan (maklumlah pakai pun seksi2 masa tu) ahaks!

9) What is it about him that you love him so much?

Because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and said I was the right girl for him and that he didn't care a thing about my past. Kira romantik lah gak kan?

10) What is it about him that you wish he would change?

Kurangkan sket baran tu especially kalau bawak kereta atau semasa marah kat anak-anak bila dorang buat peel. Biasalah orang laki ni kureng sabar sket bila melayan kerenah anak-anak...ish ish ish. 

11) You will lose your mind and crack your head when he...

- didn't call/sms after a fight. Dia punya merajuk lebih dasat dari aku. LOL!

12. You will smile thru your eyes for the whole day when he...

- ask me to go out and pamper myself (pegi spa ke, buat facial ke, salon ke atau whatever laa) while he stays home and watch the kids. 

- decides to cook lunch or dinner ke masa cuti weekends out of the blue and sometimes help with the house chores (women DO love their spouses better if they help with the house chores...trust me!). Kerja rumah ni tak pernah habis ok?

13)  Complete these sentences 'My love towards my hubby is as big as.....'

... the LOVE itself and hope to grow old together with him till death do us part....

Meet Joe Haprak

He lures them to a corner and then rapes them viciously. There was no way those hapless victims could escape from his tight clutch. He has a high degree of sexual appetite and very fertile. He has impregnated them many times until his bastards have grown in numbers by the year and all of them bears a striking resemblance of him.

As if that is not enough, he is also the least bit responsible in providing childcare and maintenance for the children. God knows how many children he has fathered in the last 10 years I live here. And I'm so tired of feeding them food and providing shelter. There were too many of them and I only have so much. How long will this last?

He is also very territorial. Nobody dares to mess with him. And people don't seem to care much about his wrongdoings. After what he has done, he still gets away with it. Something is very wrong with the justice system here. There were no police report being made by the victims he brutally attacked. They were afraid of him. They feared for their lives. I felt sorry for them because there is nothing in my power I could do to stop him. Its just the way it is.

I am at my wit's end here. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Nab him with my two bare hands myself? I don't think so coz he's so powerful and fierce for his size. I pray hard that someone would come to the rescue of those poor women and banish the sicko for good. He has made everyone's life a living hell. He has made my life miserable by not being able to do anything. I couldn't shoot him if I want to. That would make me a killer.

No woman is safe as long as he is there. Someone has got to stop him! But who?

*I seriously need a new hobby...*

homework

Some of Little Bee's first homework from school. Still needs a lot of practice. I had to guide his hand while showing him how to do it.

Tangan Bee keras cam kayu.

keep posted

Little Bee's school announced that they will be closed for a week during the Chinese New Year. Gasp!

I've been so used to Little Bee's absence for three solid hours every weekdays and been enjoying quiet moments where I can watch the TV in utmost peace without him seizing the control of the remote or when he's up to his usual mischief. Its an ongoing battle.

God help me.

the L word

Probably, the most overused word by now is LIWAT. The L word has become interestingly talked about - on facebook, at the local mamak stall and even at my daughter's school with different interpretations.

I had to actually "twist" the word when the ever inquisitive Kak Long tries to get information from me. Not a very wise thing to do.

"Ibu, apa makna LIWAT?

"Hah?" my mouth gaped to the point that if a housefly enters it, it'd have prolly lay some eggs in there.

That Harian Metro sure is to blame for this. The husband should have left it at the office and not bring it home. Now I'm faced with this inescapable task of not being able to dodge the question. So how? Haiya.

"Liwat itu sejenis perbuatan tidak bermoral yang melibatkan kemasukan objek dari ... err err ... " while my eyes were rolling up and down trying to think the right word to describe the meanings. How to say? Back entry? Straight forward, yes but I don't think so. Kak Long was looking at me, waiting for that answer while I'm still stammering on my words. To tell or not to tell. She's only twelve for goodness sake. What could she possibly understand from all this?

In the midst of cracking my head to find the right answer, "the light bulb" suddenly appears above my head. Aha!

That's when I told her to get her Oxford Malay-English dictionary and find the answers there. Phew! *wiping off sweat on forehead*

Saved by the dictionary.

true confession of a facebooker

These days, you don't need to call someone to know about their wellbeing. Thanks to modern technology, facebook was invented for that purpose. Its a great way to keep connected with your friends or meet new friends. Once you add a friend in yr FB's friends list, you will always know when they're adding notes or updating their profiles. That way, you won't miss a thing.

But in this case (pic below) I think the lady has gone too far. I guess she didn't realise the ramifications of such confession. LOL!

Wonder if she's aware REMOVE is situated on the right below OPTIONS.

Tagline:- Be careful of what you write....

sporty behaviour

on the left is the new design t-shirt and on the right the old design t-shirt

Kak Ngah came back from school today with a newly purchased t-shirt sukan that costs RM14. She has been begging for it since the new t-shirt came out few days ago.

"Jangan lupa bagi kita duit esok tau?!" she said repeatedly. Ish ish ish. It was a new design (every year tukar design which is fine) and purple in color. Eh wait a minute, why purple? Last year it was blue.

Then she said this year had to be changed to purple as told by her class teacher. No reasons were given. Oh well.

Ok, not trying to complain here but macam kelakar lah kan tukar-tukar kaler nih.

I remember during my school days (oh no not againnnnn...), when you are chosen as a member of a certain Rumah Sukan, you are expected to display your loyalty and adulation towards your membership because it shows the very essence of unity.

I wish I could explain it in a better way but that's how it feels, to have a sense of belonging in that certain group and the desire to perform better each year if your Rumah Sukan lost out in the game. During my primary or secondary schools, I have never defected to other teams because that would mean an act of betrayal. Hey, how did a slight grumble about Kak Ngah's t-shirt trails into a boring monologue about sportsmanship? Stay on the track ok.

Nevertheless, here in my daughter's school, its prolly ok to change your Rumah Sukan. I guess they don't take sport seriously. Setakat nak penuhkan kuota aje la kut? Whatever that is.

*yours truly couldn't even remember the name of her Rumah Sukan (so pathetic..) but remembers the official color was Green for her Rumah Sukan. She was also the reserve player for the school's hockey team (reserve jer ... alahai) and main player for the volleyball and netball team. she did not excel in decathlon events however she was one hell of a cheerleader*

not another shit story

talk to the hand!

I can't figure out what's really wrong with Little Bee these days. It seems that he has a very sensitive tummy. He developed fever last Monday (which he recovered two days later) and he has been having internal upset since then. The last time something like this happened was in early December last year when he was down with typhoid and had to be warded for 5 days.

Thinking it could be remnants of typhoid, we brought him back to the same hospital to have his blood checked after recommendation from the local GP.

In the ER, Little Bee was made to lie down on a stretcher. He started to cry sans tear from the moment the nurse wrapped his body with a blanket (to thwart resistance), leaving only the left hand exposed to poking his hand with a needle. He stopped when his hand was fully bandaged. It was a good 10 minutes wail of a kind. Such a drama king!

We had to to wait for another hour for the blood test result and when it finally came, the results were negative. Alhamdulillah. What a relief. Never like the idea of camping in a hospital. Sangat boring ok.

So, the doctor concluded that it could be viral gastrointestinal something and only prescribed Smecta to harden the stool. No other medications given. Since the hospital visit wasn't included in the insurance cover we were about hundreds of ringgit poorer that day. Bless those plastic money. Huh!

Tu la sapa suruh hantar kat private hospital kan? Eksyen sangat. Ha ha!